Anger gets a bad rap, but let’s be honest, it’s a normal part of being human, especially for men under pressure. Most of us were taught to “man up,” "get over it", or just "get on with it". But left unchecked, anger can turn into something that damages relationships, careers, and even our health. The real challenge isn’t feeling angry, it’s what we do with it.

Why Men Struggle with Anger

For a lot of blokes, anger is tangled up with shame or embarrassment. Maybe you grew up in a family where anger was explosive, or maybe it was never spoken about at all. Either way, many men end up believing they should hide their anger or that it’s a sign of weakness. The truth? Anger is just a signal that something in your life needs attention.

What Anger is Really Telling You

Anger is rarely just about the thing that set you off in the moment. It’s often a cover for other feelings: frustration, hurt, fear, or even exhaustion. When you dig a little deeper, you’ll usually find there’s more going on underneath. That’s why it’s so important to pay attention, rather than just react.

Why It’s Never Okay to Take Anger Out on Others

This is a line that can’t be crossed, no matter how strong the feeling, it’s never acceptable to take your anger out on someone else. Lashing out, whether it’s shouting, blaming, or getting physical, doesn’t solve the problem. In fact, it usually creates new ones: damaged relationships, lost trust, and a heap of regret.

Anger is a normal emotion, but it’s your responsibility to deal with it in ways that don’t hurt others. We all slip up sometimes, but using anger as an excuse to hurt the people around you just isn’t on. If you find yourself snapping, yelling, or taking your frustrations out on your partner, kids, mates, or colleagues, that’s a red flag and totally unacceptable. There is no excuse! Your anger is a sign you need to pause and find a healthier way to process what’s going on. Everyone deserves to feel safe and respected, including you.

Dealing with anger means learning to sit with it, understand it, and work through it in a way that doesn’t spill over onto others. The goal isn’t to ignore anger or pretend it’s not there, it’s to handle it in a way that helps you grow and protects the people around you.

Healthy Outlets for Anger

Here’s what I see helping other men in my practice:

1. Move Your Body
   Physical activity is one of the most effective ways to burn off anger. You don’t have to be a gym junkie, just go for a walk, hit a punching bag, or do some push-ups. The goal isn’t to punish yourself, but to release that pent-up energy.
2. Talk it Out
   You don’t have to unload on everyone, but talking to someone you trust can make a world of difference. If that feels too hard, even writing your thoughts down can help you make sense of what’s going on.
3. Take a Timeout
   It’s okay to step away when you feel things boiling over. Give yourself permission to cool off. Sometimes, just a few deep breaths or a change of scenery is enough to help you reset.
4. Channel Anger into Action
   Anger can be a powerful motivator. Use that energy to tackle a project, fix something around the house, or get involved in a cause you care about. Productive action can turn anger into progress.
5. Learn to Recognise Your Triggers
   The more you understand what sets you off, the more control you’ll have. Notice patterns, are you always angrier when you’re tired, hungry, or stressed? Awareness is the first step to change.
6. Get Professional Support
   There’s no shame in asking for help. Sometimes anger is a sign of deeper issues—stress, grief, or old wounds that haven’t healed. Counselling can give you the tools to manage anger in a way that works for you, not against you.

Anger doesn’t make you a bad bloke. It just means you’re human. What matters is how you handle it. With practice, you can learn to use your anger as a force for good—something that helps you set boundaries, stand up for yourself, and make positive changes.

If you’re struggling to manage anger on your own, you don’t have to go it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you want to chat about how counselling can help, feel free to book a free call at mantomancounselling.com.au.